


it's a glee group chat, my dudes

by homosandhomies



Series: glee group chat! [1]
Category: Glee
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Angst, Bisexual Blaine Anderson, Bisexual Rachel Berry, Canon Compliant, Chatting & Messaging, Coming Out, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Gen, Humor, Lesbian Quinn Fabray, M/M, Male-Female Friendship, Multi, Musical References, Sexting, Texting, mostly - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-16
Updated: 2020-06-17
Packaged: 2021-02-07 10:42:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 21
Words: 2,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21456724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/homosandhomies/pseuds/homosandhomies
Summary: new directions texting because i need this
Relationships: Blaine Anderson & Brittany S. Pierce, Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel, Kurt Hummel & Santana Lopez, Quinn Fabray & Santana Lopez & Brittany S. Pierce, Rachel Berry/Finn Hudson, Rachel Berry/Jesse St. James, Rachel Berry/Quinn Fabray, Santana Lopez/Brittany S. Pierce
Series: glee group chat! [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1629733
Comments: 66
Kudos: 143





	1. sam why

**Author's Note:**

> there won't really be much of a plot, or an update schedule. this is gonna be pretty random, and the timeline will jump around a lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> takes place after "trio"

**Golden Quartet**

_Sam, Blaine, Tina, Artie_

**Sam**

hey guys

**Blaine**

what

**Sam**

new directions

more like

newd irections

**Tina**

wow

**Artie**

right in front of my salad bruh

**Sam**

i had to

**Blaine**

U didn’t but ok


	2. me? projecting?? very likely

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> blaine confides in brittany

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> takes place season 4, during sam and britt's relationship

**Blaine -> Brittany**

Hey brittany

oh hi!

can you keep a secret

uh not rlly

oof nvm

is it something serious

yeah kinda but its ok

oh if it’s serious u can totaly trust me

ok but like u can;t even tell santana ok

oh

can u still do it

is it about her

no it’s just something i haven’t really told anyone

and i know we’re not the closest but i think ur the only person who will understand

Oh

well ur secrets safe with me

thnx

so... I think i might be bi

and i’ve known for like 2 yrs but when i told kurt then he said that bi guys are just gay guys pretending to be straight

oof

yeah santana used to stay stuff like that so i know what it’s like

u just need to know that ur valid

i love santana but i also love sam and i loved artie back then

u can have preferences or you can like them equally it doesn’t matter

thank you so much britt

no prob :)


	3. send n00ds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> brittana content

**Santana -> Quinn**

Hey can we talk later

Britt and I have Texting Hour

It's a thing we do to catch up during long-distance

Ew I don't wanna hear about the nudes you guys send each other

* * *

**Brittany -> Santana**

hey bby wyd

watching queer eye while crying into my peanut butter and jelly sandwich

damn that's sexy


	4. fav musical GO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning just to be safe: threats of violence at the very end of the chapter, after the line where kurt says "just stating facts"

**New Directions**

_Artie, Blaine, Brittany, Finn, Kurt, Mercedes, Mike, Puck, Quinn, Rachel, Rory, Sam, Santana, Sugar, Tina_

**Rachel**

Favorite musical GO

**Kurt**

Wicked

**Rachel**

Funny Girl

**Blaine**

A Very Potter Musical

**Kurt**

is that just because you look like darren criss

**Blaine**

wtf are you talking about

**Joe**

Godspell

**Brittany**

Cats

**Kurt**

britt you’re not valid anymore

**Brittany**

don’t be homophobic :(

**Kurt**

just stating facts

**Santana**

lady hummel u better shut the FUCK up or else i’ll take quinn's lizard baby and shove it back into your bussy


	5. homos & homies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> late season 5? maybe? idk i'm too gay for math

**Homos & Homies**

_ Sam, Blaine, Brittany, Kurt, Marley, Santana, Tina, Unique _

**Sam**

Greetings frends

**Blaine**

What is this

**Sam**

Sooo i might be Not Str8 there4 i need to have a support group 2 figure this out

**Marley**

You’re valid

**Sam**

Aww thanks

Ok folks state your name, age, business cos i dont wanna say the wrong shit ya know

**Santana**

Do i need to say my name

**Sam**

No i just wanted to say that

But like pronouns and stuff

**Marley**

She/her, 17, panromantic/asexual

**Kurt**

He/him, 20, gay/gray-asexual

**Santana**

She/her, 20, lesbian

**Brittany**

She/her, 20, bi

**Tina**

She/them, 19, nonbinary?? Maybe??? Idk gender’s confusing, pansexual

**Unique**

She/her, 17, trans, staight (im sorry)

**Marley**

You’re still valid

**Unique**

Ilysm

**Blaine**

He/him, 19, bi

**Sam**

Lit my dudes

He/him, 19, not straight?

**Blaine**

Welcome to the club

**Brittany**

We have cookies

**Sam**

yay


	6. big gay news

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tina has big gay news

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i've recently learned that a) i prefer writing about The Gays and b) marley is a bean and i love her

**Homos & Homies**

_Blaine, Brittany, Kurt, Marley, Sam, Santana, Tina, Unique_

**Tina**

BIG GAY NEWS

**Unique**

Oooh spill the tea

**Tina**

Wait im gonna add artie for a sec since he’s my bff

_Tina has added Artie to the chat _

**Artie**

Hey yall

**Marley**

Hii

**Blaine**

Ok i need the tea NOW

**Tina**

I have a dattteee

Their name is Skye

**Marley**

Yayyyy!!

**Artie**

Aww so does that mean we’re not getting married

**Tina**

Sorry man im not despreate anymore

**Sam**

Just don’t vaporape them

**Tina**

Can we NOT

Can we have ONE day without bringing that up Samuel

**Artie**

Im just gonna leave now i feel too straight for this

_Artie has left the chat _


	7. This is really sad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is sad I'm sorry (but there's a happy ending don't worry)  
Takes place after Finn's death, but before S5E3

**Rachel -> Finn**

Good morning 💖

* * *

**Rachel -> Finn**

Good night 

Love you 💜

* * *

**Rachel -> Finn**

Hi

I love you

Miss you

* * *

"Rachel?" Kurt said hesitantly. "Why are you texting him? He's gone."

Rachel curled more into her bed, refusing to look her best friend in the eye. "No, he isn't.

* * *

**2019**

**Jesse ** **-> Rachel**

Good morning sunshine

Hehe, good morning ❤️


	8. pippin is ICONIC

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yes i am projecting what do u want

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place during season 4 when Santana lives with Rachel and Kurt

**Kurt -> Santana**

I have a new musical that we should obsess over

Do tell

PIPPIN!!

What is it about

EXACTLY

I'm on break rn so i'll listen to it

YAY!!

* * *

I LISTENED TO IT

And.....?

I LOVE IT

JOIN US

LEAVE THE FIELDS TO FLOWER

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kurt and santana love pippin and that's on headcanon


	9. fondue for 2 (ft. angst if u squint)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> that's some hot dish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place during season 3, after I Kissed A Girl

**New Directions**

_Artie,_ _Blaine,_ _Brittany,_ Finn, _Kurt,_ _Mercedes,_ _Mike,_ _Puck,_ _Quinn, Rachel, Rory, Sam, Santana,_ _Sugar,_ _Tina_

**Brittany**

Guys

In order to grow my brand I'm also bringing written interviews to fondue for 2

& post them on my tumblr

**Santana**

Sounds awesome babe ❤️

**Brittany**

First question

Rory, u should dye ur hair red

**Rory**

That's not a question

**Brittany**

Um

Last time i checked

im the interviewer

Ur hair better be red next time

**Rory**

Why

**Brittany**

So u can be legally irish

**Rory**

I AM irish

**Brittany**

Is ur hair red

**Rory**

No

**Brittany**

Then ur not irish

**Santana**

it's best to go with it

**Rory**

yes ma'am

**Brittany**

Next

tina

What is ur personality besides being angry

**Tina**

what

**Brittany**

what

Next

Quinn, how is your yeast infection

**Quinn**

Cured also 🖕

**Brittany**

No u 👌

Next

Mercedes how r u

**Mercedes**

Good ❤️👍

**Brittany**

Well I heard u crying in the bathroom earlier

So

Clearly not

Is it about sam

**Mercedes**

R u fucking kidding me rn

**Brittany**

Mike!

R u & Tina related

**Mike**

Why would we be related??

**Brittany**

ur last name is both Chang

**Tina**

Mike's chinese and I'm Korean

So no

**Brittany**

Ok so Chang is the only last name for all Asians

So r the writers racist or satirical?

**Tina**

Satirical

**Mike**

What

**Brittany**

What

Puck!

**Puck**

hi

**Brittany**

Does it hurt

With ur 🍆 being the size of 2 coke cans

**Puck**

Sometimes

**Quinn**

Ur not even ashamed?

**Puck**

hell no

**Brittany**

next up sam

how is ur family

because I feel like we've forgotten they exist

**Sam**

They're in Not Ohio™

**Brittany**

ah yes

kurt & blaine

What's it like being in a relationship that has absolute poop communication skills

**Kurt**

Excuse you?

**Brittany**

bless you

ok now finn

**Finn**

Hi

**Brittany**

So ya know that time u got a boner during biology

**Rachel**

😳

**Brittany**

was it because of the sexy skeleton

**Finn**

NO

**Rachel**

Brittany don't be rude

**Sam**

🦴💀🦴💀🦴💀💀🦴💀🦴

**Puck**

lol

**Sugar**

😂😂😂😂😂😂

**Santana**

SEXY SKELETON

**Quinn**

SEXY SKELETON

**Artie**

SEXY SKELETON

**Brittany**

Oh also finn

So i can see you love tossing things

**Finn**

what 

**Brittany**

What else do u like to toss

Besides footballs

And my girlfriend out of the closet

**Finn**

Bro i already said i was sorry

And santana forgave me

Right santana?

**Santana**

Yeah lol

**Brittany**

Sounds like a lie but ok

_Finn has left the chat. _

**Brittany**

& rachel

**Rachel**

Oh dear God

**Brittany**

did u ever get that skirt cleaned after u got ur period at lunch and it totally showed but u pretended it was tomato sauce

**Tina**

😳 

**Sam**

😶

**Rory**

🦵

**Rachel**

Can you NOT

**Mercedes**

Britt don't though a homegirl under the bus

**Brittany**

ok 

Artie!

**Artie**

oh shit

**Brittany**

because u don't use ur legs

will do they like

decompose

**Artie**

uhhhh no?

**Brittany**

Disappointing

That's all folks

**Santana**

What about me

**Brittany**

You get a private interview 😘

**Quinn**

Ew PDA

_Brittany has left the chat. _

_ Santana has left the chat. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did anyone see the sex education reference


	10. brittany's a pot stirrer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> brittany's a pot stirrer but it's because she loves her gf

**New Directions**

Artie, Blaine, Brittany, Finn, Kurt, Mercedes, Mike, Puck, Quinn, Rachel, Rory, Sam, Santana, Sugar, Tina

_ Brittany has entered the chat. _

**Brittany**

GUYS

WAKE UP

_ Puck has entered the chat. _

_ Artie has entered the chat. _

_ Finn has entered the chat. _

_ Santana has entered the chat. _

**Puck**

Wtf it’s the middle of the night

**Artie**

Yeah i was sleeping

Jk i was playing the sims

**Brittany**

I have tea

**Santana**

Wtf

**Brittany**

I can confirm that santana sucks her thumb

**Santana**

That is FALSE

**Brittany**

Don’t deny it

**Santana**

Wow first finn outs me and now u lol

**Puck**

…

**Artie**

…

**Santana**

It’s just a joke guys lol

**Finn**

Yeah it’s just a joke

_ Brittany has left the chat. _

_ Santana has left the chat. _

_ Finn has left the chat. _


	11. gay intervention

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's canon sry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: Mentions of suicide

**Ga** **y Protection Squad**

_ Kurt, Blaine, Brittany, and Tina have created this chat. _

_ Blaine has added Quinn, Rachel, and Finn to the chat. _

**Kurt**

Greetings

**Brittany**

Hello children

**Quinn**

Why am I here

**Rachel**

Yeah me too

And why is tina here

**Tina**

I’m pansexual

**Blaine**

I normally don’t like to assume

**Kurt**

But like you guys are kind of into each other

**Rachel**

Um no we’re not!

**Finn**

Why am i here? I’m like the straightest one here

Also rachel’s with me

**Kurt**

I made a youtube video to prove that you Faberry is real

[ https://youtu.be/SLGB58zc8bE](https://youtu.be/SLGB58zc8bE)

**Brittany**

It’s a great video

**Blaine**

But YA KNOW WHAT

We made the video private so only people who have the link can see it

And do you know why, Finn?

**Finn**

Uh no

**Tina**

Because they had the decency to ONLY SHOW IT TO PEOPLE THEY WERE OK WITH SEEING IT

**Kurt**

Do you understand, Finn?

**Finn**

Look is this about me telling Santana to come out of the closet

I don’t know why we’re still talking about this

She forgave me

**Brittany**

That doesn’t mean she really meant it

**Kurt**

Finn.

We know that you care about Santana

And you’ve made it clear that everyone in glee loves her

**Blaine**

But even if you did have good intentions

You could have put her life in danger

**Finn**

Wait what

**Tina**

So many LGBTQ+ teens get disowned all the time if their family finds out they’re gay

Santana’s abuela legit disowned her

And thank god her parents are accepting

**Brittany**

But what if they weren’t?

Santana could have ended up on the streets

**Finn**

But one of us would help her! We’d give her a home!

**Kurt**

Thousands of kids don’t have that support system though

Imagine if Santana didn't have us

**Tina**

This is a part of why teenage suicide rates is so high for lgbt teens

**Finn**

Oh shit

**Quinn**

Oh shit indeed

**Kurt**

So why don't you think about this Finn

**Brittany**

And if u don't apologize I'll eat u


	12. foreshadowing

**Santana -> Brittany**

Babe don't tell ppl I suck my thumb

Ok

It just excited me that I found someone who does it too

Cuz like I know Im childish

But it's lonely sometimes being the only person like this

Huh

Ok

Ily 😘

Ily2❤️❤️

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will become something don't worry


	13. little!brittany

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place during Season 3

**Santana -> Brittany**

Baby

Hi!

So u know u said u feel lonely when u feel childish

yea

I did some research &

I think u might be a little

Wut

Here

[ https://www.littlespaceonline.com/app.php/discovery ](https://www.littlespaceonline.com/app.php/discovery)

A little is basically someone who kinda

Becomes a child/toddler/baby I guess

And it's not weird

Oh

I'll read it

* * *

Ok I read it

Yeah?

I think I'm a little!

So like

I guess I'm around 5 yrs old

I was wondering

Do u wanna b my caregiver?

Really?

yeah

U dont hav 2 if u don't wanna

No

I'd love to be your caregiver ❤️

Really?

Yeah

Yayyy

* * *

Mommy I feel little

Can u come over

My oarents r aut off town dis weeken

On my way

Wanna watch finding nemo

!!!!!👍👍�


	14. dikrats

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place during season 4 right when Kurt moves to New York

**Kurt -> Blaine**

Stop singing starkid

I can hear it all the way in New York

That's impossible

But am I wrong

…

?

🎵Shut the fuck uuuuuup🎵


	15. Bisexual Whisperer™

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place during Season 4 between the time of Will's wedding and Rachel's pregnancy test

**Quinn -> Brittany**

Hey

Um hi

So

Uh

How did you know you were bi

Wow i’m like the Bisexual Whisperer

What

nothing

Ok

So anyway

I sort kinda fooled around with a girl

You sorta kinda ATE PUSSYYYYY

STFU

Lol ok

So yeah

I’m not into her romantically

But like

I have been into girls in the past

Romantically and sexually

Did u sleep with rachel

NO

WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK I’M INTO RACHEL

BRUH

It’s ok

Whatever

So what does this mean

You’re probably sapphic

Could be bi or pan

U dont even need a label if u don’t want one

Ok

Please don’t tell anyone

Of course

We already went through the “don’t out people” thing last year

Can i tell santana though

Sure

Omfg did u sleep with santana

What makes u think THAT

Ur ok with her hearing about this

Ok yeah fine i slept with her

But im not into her

She’s just hot ok

Obviously

It’s chill

We aren’t together anymore so it’s fine

I’m still in love with her though

But it’s fineeeeeeeee

* * *

**Brittany -> Santana**

SANTANA

hi

Quinn likes girls~~~~

Obviously

That’s why i slept with her

So she’d realize it

Lolllll

Ur ok with this?

Yeah!

Im dating sam so it’s fine

And i’m happy for u

Congrats on gettin’ someeeee

Ha

Congrats to u 2

* * *

**Santana -> Quinn**

UR A HOMO

NO

Lol gay

Wtf you’re gay don’t make fun of me

Nah man i’m happy for u

Thanks :)

I don’t think i’m a lesbian

Maybe pan

I took a quiz online

Ah yes

So it MUST be true?

Because a quiz tells all

Not the girl you ate out

Omf shut up

Ok i digress

So when r u and grandma berry getting married

Didn’t she hook up with finn or something

Wait WHAT

yeah

Oh wow

I gotta go

Berry’s crying

Oh shit this is serious gtg

_ Santana has left the chat. _


	16. an excuse for me to make vagina jokes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place during the beginning of Season 3, during Quinn's punk faze

**Santana -> Quinn**

Are you rlly using the earings i gave you as a fucking bellybutton ring

Idk what ur talking about

Don’t play dumb Ex-Tubbers

Ok yeah i did it

What r u gonna do about it

Well

I could tell figgins that you were the one who emptied 3 months worths of diva cup blood onto his desk

And if u do that

I could tell the skanks that you once had a fantasy of “eating out shakira”

You wouldn’t do that

You’re a bitch but you’re not evil

You wouldn’t out someone

Try me

Just because you hate yourself doesn’t mean you have to shit on me

Yeah

I could stop that

Or

If you say that again i’ll give you a diva cup slushie

But im sure ur used to that with brittany

And i’m sure you’ve fantasized about it with rachel

And i’m sure that i can just post pics all over the school walls of you sleeping with Mr. Blankey The Blanket

Fuck you

Oh i will ;)


	17. sexting ooooooooh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have sinned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place anywhere between late season 5 and so on. I didn't want to have it take place during when they're in high school because a nude photo of someone under the age of 18 is considered child pornography and I don't want to endorse that (and we all know how that worked out for Mark Salling wait WHAT)

**Brittany -> Santana**

Hey babe

Hey Britts

Wyd rn

Thinking about you

Awwww

What are u thinking about

How hot u are

Oooh

What else

I’m picturing you in that lacy pink bra

U look so sexy

Dont have to imagine anymore  
  


Damn baby

I'm touching myself right now

Me too

Talk to me more

I'm fondling my breasts

I wish it was u touching them

Me too

I'm so wet just thinking about that

ugh same

I'm picturing you pinching my nipples through the lace

oh thats so

hot

im rubbing my clit rn

me too

i wish i could hav 3 hands

1 to touch my tits

1 to touch my clit

1 to text you

that's so fking hot for some reason

FUCK

i just came

me too

:)


	18. faberry bitches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am a woman of the people

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place during 2020  
(also in my canon season 6 is almost entirely non-existent so rachel never called unique "cross-dressing mercedes")

**Homos & Homies**

_Sam, Blaine, Brittany, Kurt, Marley, Santana, Tina, Unique, Quinn, Rachel_

**Tina**

👃👃👃

i smell intruders

**Sam**

hold up

quinn and rachel????

**Blaine**

oh hey guys!

yeah i let them in

**Quinn**

Heyyyyy

**Rachel**

So ummmm

Quinn and I are together!

**Brittany**

DFGHJHGFGHJKJHGHJKJHGHJKJHBHJHGHJ

**Santana**

FUCKING CALLED IT

**Sam**

wait WHO KNEW ABOUT THIS

**Kurt**

me and blaine

and jesse and puck

**Marley**

Wait

Wasn't Quinn dating that Puckerman guy?

And isn't Rachel married to Jesse St. James?

**Quinn**

when did that happen??? as far as i know this is an au here that never happened

**Rachel**

yup :)

So yeah, I'm bisexual

And Quinn is queer

**Sam**

i stg nobody tells me anything

Happy for you though!

**Santana**

yeah all jokes aside we're happy for you grandma berry

**Rachel**

love you too santana <3


	19. update: lesbian

**Homos & Homies**

_Sam, Blaine, Brittany, Kurt, Marley, Santana, Tina, Unique, Quinn, Rachel_

**Quinn**

Update: lesbian

**Sam**

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! 🎉🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳

**Tina**

KJHGHJHVCGHJBVCHJHBVN

**Santana**

I DID IT

**Kurt**

We should've known smh


	20. sam evans: pansexual icon

**Homos & Homies**

_Sam, Blaine, Brittany, Kurt, Marley, Santana, Tina, Unique, Quinn, Rachel_

**Sam**

guys!!

i found out what i am

**Blaine**

Oh?

**Sam**

⭐pansexual⭐

**Tina**

AYYY SAME MAN

**Sam**

Hell yeah!!

it's like

girls are hot

and guys are hot

and other ppl are hot

& honestly i wouldn't be lying if i said i haven't thought about fucking a pan at least once 

**Blaine**

I-


	21. hghbhjhbjh because i said so ok

**Homos & Homies**

_Sam, Blaine, Brittany, Kurt, Marley, Santana, Tina, Unique, Quinn, Rachel, Mike_

**Mike**

Can I join?

**Tina**

wait YOU?

**Mike**

Me??...

**Blaine**

Sure!

**Sam**

you're gay??

**Mike**

i'm bi

**Brittany**

!!!!!!!!!

WE'RE TAKING OVER

THE STRAIGHTS WILL BE GONE


End file.
